Why Did You Do It?
by ILoveSupernatural
Summary: In the aftermath of the events that took place in 4.22, Sam faces Dean. PLEASE REVIEW.


Disclaimer: I don't own Sam, Dean or anything from Supernatural. They are Kripke's creations.

Description: In the aftermath of the events that took place in 4.22, Sam faces Dean.

Authors Note: This is my second fanfic. Its kind off abrupt but I just pictured it in my head. No beta so all the mistakes are mine.

Huge thanks to my best friend Pri (who is not really a fan of the show but still listens to me ramble about it. She really helped me with this), my sis Romi (romiluvzjared), Hetal(supernaturalisawesome) and Pooh(Manavie).

**WHY DID YOU DO IT?**

"Why did you do it Sam? Why didn't you listen to me, huh? How could you believe that bitch over me? Why Sam, why?"

Sam. Not Sammy anymore. Well, Sam thought, guess I stopped being Sammy long back…

"I'm sorry Dean. I just……wanted to kill her. And I didn't care about anything or anyone else except finding and killing her. I….I'm sorry"

"Sorry? Is that gonna change the fact that we are now responsible for unleashing hell on earth Sam? What do we do now? Do you know how many people are gonna be up our ass now? The Winchester brothers? Yeah Dean broke the first seal and Sam broke the last. And now Lucifer is back thanks to them. Some hunters!"

Sam turned to look at Dean with so much anguish in his eyes that it took Dean's breath away.

"I unleashed hell on earth? I have been living in my own hell for nearly four months. Life without you, that's hell right there Dean. Nothing could be worse than that for me. I'm sorry you went to hell Dean, I'm sorry you had to suffer there cause of me, I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. But I am not sorry for killing Lilith. I wanted her dead Dean. Do you know how hard it was for me to watch while her hellhounds ripped your body apart? It was worse than watching Jess burn up on that ceiling dammit! I don't ever wanna go through that again Dean. When I died you had to live without me for a couple of hours and look what you did. Imagine how I felt living four months without you! All alone Dean, all alone…..I can never forget those four months no matter how much I want to…" Sam became quiet as tears rolled down his face.

Dean was too stunned to respond. He had never really thought much about what Sam must have gone through when he was in hell. He knew Sam had a hard time but now that he heard what Sam had to say he couldn't help but wonder what all Sam had to go through. Sure what he did was wrong. Dean just didn't know what to do or say at the moment.

"I'm sorry Dean. I messed up. I knew what I was doing was wrong. But once I started, I just couldn't stop. It made me feel strong. It made me feel like I could kill Lilith. But it was wrong. I know that nothing I do or say can change it. It's too late for that. You should never have made the deal for me Dean. You should just….let me go. End it right now Dean. Dad was right. You were right. I'm just like the things we hunt. I've turned into what you guys feared the most. I'm a……a Monster."

"Sam I never meant-…"

"That's what you promised Dad Dean. That you would end things. Stop me from becoming what you have always feared. It's not too late Dean. You can stop me before it gets worse."

"Sam stop!" Dean didn't like where Sam was going with this.

"No Dean!" Sam stood up and started rummaging through his duffel and pulled out a revolver. He handed it over to Dean. "Here you go Dean. Do it." And then he stood back, like he was ready for anything, ready for Dean to kill him.

At this point it was safe to say that Dean was plain terrified. Memories of Sam's possession, of his little brother asking him to kill him came back to him. He had told Sam then that he would rather die than kill him. Well things hadn't changed much even now.

"Sam, I can't do this. Let's just relax for a bit. Talk to me Sam." Dean lowered his hand.

"No Dean! You gotta do it now. Before it gets worse. I don't wanna hurt you more Dean. Do it Dean!" Sam raised Dean's hand and brought the gun to his temple. "Shoot me!"

"SAMMY NO!" Dean threw the gun away and punched him right in the face.

Sam staggered back due to the impact of the punch.

"Dean-"

"No! Shut Up Sammy! If I hear you apologize once again or any more of that crap, I swear that black eye is gonna be the least of your worries tonight."

Sam's shoulders sagged in defeat and he walked over to the bed and sat down with his face in his hands.

It was a while before either of them spoke again.

"I'm sorry Dean-"

"Dammit Sammy!"

"No hear me out Dean. I shouldn't put this on you. I should end things myself. Just leave me alone Dean. I'll do what I should have done a long time ago." Sam then lowered his eyes to the floor and became silent.

Dean couldn't take it anymore.

"Sammy--"

The next thing he knew, Sam was engulfed in a hug by Dean. Dean held on to him tightly. Chick-flick moment be damned! He needed this, Sam needed this. Sam tried to pull away but Dean held on and refused to let him go. After a couple of moments he felt Sam's arms go around him and he held on even tighter.

Sam broke down and each sob from him was breaking Dean's heart. They sat like that for a while, Dean holding on to Sam, before Dean heard Sam speak.

"I'm ss…sorry for everything you had to go through c..cause of me. You didn't deserve to have everything taken away from you. When Jess died I lost the normal life I had always dreamt of but you never had a normal life. You spent your entire childhood taking care of me and you lost your childhood. You lost Mom and Dad cause of me. I was too selfish to see that. I'm sorry for everything Dean….so sorry."

That does it, Dean thought. He needed to make a few things clear to Sam.

He released Sam and knelt down so that they were eye to eye.

Taking Sam's face in his hands, he forced Sam to look at him. Sam however refused to look him in the eyes.

"Look at me Sammy."

On hearing the much-loved nickname, Sam looked up.

"Don't you ever say that again. Mom and Dad's death was not your fault ok? It was that yellow eyed bastards fault. So you better get that out of your head Sammy."

When Sam still didn't look convinced, Dean spoke again. "Sammy, Mom made a deal with the Demon."

Sam looked at Dean, startled. "Mom made a deal?" Dean nodded wearily. "What kind off deal Dean?"

"A deal to save Dad. The price was to allow him to visit her after 10 years. Of course I don't think Mom really knew what the impact of the deal would be. She…she took the deal Sam."

Sam looked stunned, like all the wind had been knocked out of him. He looked like he expected Dean to say, "April Fool!" But when the punch line didn't come, he looked heartbroken. He was about to say something but Dean beat him to it. "Dad's death wasn't your fault either Sammy. Blame it on me cause he made that deal for me but it sure as hell wasn't your fault Sammy."

Sam looked up. "I could never blame it on you Dean. Sure Dad died but I'm glad you were with me Dean. I dunno what I would have done without you. You were the only thing that kept me going after Jess's death. I just wish you guys could have had a happy normal life Dean. One without me to screw things up…."

Dean was so angry now, that he was practically seeing red.

"SAMMY! Enough of that crap!" Dean screamed making Sam look at him in shock.

Dean took a moment to calm down. Then he looked at Sam who was looking up at him apprehensively. "Sammy stop sayin that. It's not your fault ok? Nothing that happened to us has been your fault. Sammy if you think I kept you going when Jess died, you have kept me going my entire life! I don't know what I'd do without you Sammy. I survived Mom and Dad's death. But I can't live without you Sammy. You're the only thing that keeps me going Sammy Sure you took a couple of wrong decisions. But I kind off get that now Sammy. Why you wanted to kill Lilith. Gosh you're just like Dad in some ways. You both just wanted revenge and didn't care how far you went for it. You don't care about anyone or anything else do you?" Dean said bitterly.

"That's not true Dean."

"Then WHY?" Dean screamed, "Why didn't you listen to me Sammy? I told you not to believe that bitch. But you still did. You know why? Cause you don't need me now. Cause I'm weak and I keep wallowing in self pity. After all, you're a better hunter than me. I'm holding you back right?"

Dean smirked as he saw Sam wince at that. It was a low blow but he didn't care right now. He needed to get this out.

"And you know what? It kills me that you don't believe me anymore. You don't trust me. You don't need me anymore….."

Sam looked at him in disbelief. "How can you say that Dean? I have always needed you. I am always gonna need you. I'm just so lost Dean. I don't know what to do anymore"

Dean softened a bit at that, and then he looked Sam in the eye and spoke in a soft but firm voice, "Just have faith in me Sammy. We have both made mistakes. You were fooled by Ruby and I was fooled by the Angels. They screwed with us Sammy. But no more. Just believe in me Sammy. We'll get through this together, I swear. If you have any problems, you come straight to me Sammy. I know things won't be like they were but we'll get there. Just don't lie to me Sammy. Cause I don't think I can take that anymore."

Sam finally looked Dean in the eye this time.

"Ok. We can do that."

"And Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean?"

"No more lies…Bitch".

Sam smiled. "No more lies..Jerk."

Dean smiled. Yeah. They would be okay. Long as they were together, they would be okay.


End file.
